Chapter 1: The Crystal Ship

*

Christmas Eve, 1968

(Ninth revolution around the Moon)

85 hours, 44 minutes, and 58 seconds into the Apollo 8 mission, astronauts James Lovell, William Anders, and Frank Borman broadcast photographs of Earth from lunar orbit.

"The vast loneliness up here on the moon is awe-inspiring...makes you realize just what you have back there on Earth," says Lovell. "The Earth from here is a grand oasis in the big vastness of space."

"We are now approaching lunar sunrise," Anders says. "For all the people back on Earth, the crew of Apollo 8 has a message..."

"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth..."

(Santa Monica, California)
I’m sprawled out in the work room with Levi, a some-time clerk at The Crystal Ship and a drug dealer on the Strip.

My old man Stoney drops stones into a rock polisher.

Duane and Pi, owners, arrive to lock up for the holidays.

The Crystal Ship sells semi-precious gems in the rough, crystals, polished rocks, pipes, beaded jewelry, incense, rolling papers, and drug paraphernalia.

"You gotta hear this," Pi says, clicking on the radio. "The astronauts..."

And the earth was without form...

"That is so fucking far out," Stoney says, shutting off the polisher.

...And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

President Kennedy’s promise of landing men on the moon before 1970...will it really happen?

...God divided the light from the darkness.

Imagine! Men circling the moon, 250,000 miles from earth, something I’ll never experience–except in my own head.

...called the light Day...

Levi rolls a joint and lights up. "To Apollo 8!"

...the first day.

"Yeah!" Stoney says.

...God made the firmament...

We all take a toke, except Pi, who’s seven months pregnant.

...and it was so.

The shop now closed, we hover around Duane and Pi’s radio, to wonder what Earth looks like from outer space.

...God called the firmament Heaven.

Duane takes the last toke. He hands the roach to Levi, who eats the evidence.

...Let the waters under the heavens be gathered...

"Yummmm," Levi says, "Priceless."

...and it was so.

"Yeah, like not getting busted in my own shop," Duane says.

"I have a present for everyone," Levi says.

...God saw that it was good.

"Not wrapped. Sorry." Levi offers each of us a blue tab of acid.

...from the crew of Apollo 8...a Merry Christmas...

"Blue Moons, the best shit on the market. Merry F. Christmas!"

...and God bless all of you...

"Now we can all split," Duane says, turning out the lights.

...on the good Earth.

"Far fucking out!" Stoney says.
*

Jennifer Semple Siegel's Bio

*
Fasting would surely come into fashion again at some future date, yet that was no comfort for those living in the present. What, then, was the hunger artist to do?

--Franz Kafka, "A Hunger Artist"

In all her life she had never been afflicted by ill temper and she looked upon it now as a demon which, along with hunger, was taking possession of her soul.

--Andre Dubus, "The Fat Girl"

________________________________

Writing is pretty much like breathing: I would shrivel up and die if I couldn't write.

However, I don't make my living as a writer, at least not yet.

I have published one book: Are You EVER Going to be Thin? (and other stories) and several short stories, essays, and articles. I have also published three academic articles, one of them in a major publication. However, academia alone does not define me.

I have just completed I, Driven: memoir of a teen's involuntary commitment and am currently shopping it around. More about this memoir later.

I am currently working on And God Won, a novel-in-progress that involves the web presence of Jane Godwin, the main character, and others.

I am also developing a start-up domaining enterprise, a field that mixes business, website work, and words. I have some good ideas for developing creative ad writing to create interesting landing pages and still sell services and products.

Perhaps an introduction to a writer/fledgling domainer should begin with a short autobiography; after all, a writer's past informs a writer's work in a major way--at least it should.

I was actually born on October 12, 1950, to Mary Lou Semple Carson and Robert B. Carson; my legal birthday is October 10, 1950. I'll return to this annoying discrepancy later.

I had to look up my father's middle initial because I never knew him very well--I last saw him when I was 14. He bought me the Beatles Second Album and then forever disappeared from my life. He died a few years ago, but I don't know exactly when. I heard, through the family grapevine, that he had Alzheimer's.

I hope I haven't inherited that gene from him, but I'm not taking any chances; I have lit the proverbial match under my own rear end and revved up my writing career, just in case.

For the first few years of my life, I lived in Yuma, Arizona, and Los Angeles, California, with my mother and various fathers and boyfriends. My mother, an alcoholic, worked as a stripper under her professional name of Jan Durrell; she worked in some of the same clubs frequented by Lenny and Honey Bruce. So much for my indirect brush with fame.

Mother posed for cheesy pulp fiction covers, for example, a notable literary masterpiece: Devils Dance in Me (1963), by Lee Shepard. Caption on the cover, next to Mom's picture: "Her body ruled her brain. She lived in a town where female flesh was willing, waiting--and dirt cheap."

She died in 1979; officially, her liver gave out, but I believe she really committed slow suicide with a beer bottle in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

In 1957, when I was six, my baby sister and I were run over by a truck. Neither of us was hurt, but that incident started a chain of events that changed my life forever.

Olive and Harley Semple, my grandparents, got wind of the near tragedy, and drove out to L.A. to rescue me.

Instead, they found themselves embroiled in a huge custody battle, lasting nearly six months, with my mother and the state of California. My father was nowhere to be found.

An old, old story of yet another dysfunctional family, but at a time when "dysfunctional" wasn't yet a buzzword, and when fractured families were only whispered about behind closed doors.

Bad luck and awkward timing seem to follow me, but, somehow, I seem to escape adversity and ascend above it.

Besides, I can't complain; my zig-zag life has offered valuable nuggets for my work.

My younger sister Robin, who had a different father, was sent off to be raised by my stepfather's sister. I didn't see her for almost 30 years, a baby when she left, a married woman with two children when I saw her again. I can't even begin to explain that disconnect.

The custody battle ended when my mother suddenly changed her mind and signed the custody papers. Olive and Harley whisked me off to Sioux City, Iowa, where I lived a rather unremarkable life, that is, until I graduated from high school.

Which brings me to my dual birthday. When I was nine, my grandparents adopted me, and Iowa reissued my birth certificate with my grandparents as my parents and the wrong birthday. Some minor bureaucrat must have been experiencing a very bad day...

The error seemed like too much bother to fix, so I have lived with my split birthday; I try to use my official birthday for official situations, but sometimes I forget, causing all kinds of bureaucratic hassles. I still have my original birth certificate as well, so, in a sense, I am truly two different people, the adult Jennifer a sort of psychic twin to the child Jennifer. In fact, twins have always fascinated me, and in 2002 I started writing a book called Twin Candy Bings, about Samantha Anne Mallory, a 50-year-old woman, who discovers that she has a twin who needs a kidney/pancreas transplant--the same main character depicted in my published book Are You EVER Going to be Thin? (and other stories). I plan to finish Twin Candy Bings some day, hopefully before I die or fall into the Alzheimer's pit, which is the same as dying.

Therefore, I'm a defacto twin; one of my M.F.A. advisors, Michael Klein, is a twin--a happenstance that cannot be a coincidence; I don't believe in coincidences.

Some day, I want to talk to Michael about that twin thing, but I haven't mustered up the courage yet.

After my 1968 high school graduation, I escaped from my overbearing grandmother and flew out to California to live with my mother, another stepfather, and two new brothers.

Metaphorically speaking, I took a slight life detour. I ended up in the Hollywood Street Scene: psychedelic drugs, drug dealing, sex, and rock music. The flower child movement was at the tail end of its innocence, but no one had clued me in. An angry and disappointed Harley hauled me back to Iowa, where I was incarcerated--well, in a manner of speaking...

...Fast forward to the present.

I currently live in York, Pennsylvania (York County), about 30 miles west of Lancaster, 30 miles east of Gettysburg, 20 miles south of Harrisburg, and 45 miles north of Baltimore-an anonymous town in the middle of everything: Interstate 83 runs north to south through the city, and Route 30 runs east to west. Yet, York itself seems to sink into some kind of nowhere inversion, a town defined by ancient racial rifts--Google "Lillie Belle Allen," and you will get a glimpse of York, past and present--and current drug and gang activity. In addition, the town wallows in serious financial problems, the schools chaotic and sinking even more. Our taxes (on a $70,000 house) last year were nearly $3,000. But my husband and I live in a pretty neighborhood that embraces ethnic diversity, so we stay.

York County is home to Dover, the flash point for that wacky Intelligent Design trial, which took place in Harrisburg during late 2005. I include this factoid only because my ex-husband Jeff Brown had been part of the school board that had started all the silliness; he, however, had been one voice of reason and resigned in protest long before the ID trial even began. I'm proud that he stuck to his beliefs because it confirms that, from a genetic standpoint, I chose my son's father well.

Not too many Amish live in York County, but we are the home to York Barbell and one of the Harley Davidson plants. We also brag of having one of the oldest fairs in the country; everything stops during fair week (which actually last ten days in early September: tacky but fun). Also, we claim to being the first capital of the U.S., even before Philadelphia, but as a non-native I have my doubts.

I teach as an adjunct at a local college. In his memoir Teacher Man, Frank McCourt, sums up the lot of a teacher: "When I taught in New York City high schools for 30 years, no one but my students paid me a scrap of attention. In the world outside the school I was invisible."

As a college adjunct (part timer), I'm invisible inside the school as well, but I cannot allow that reality to define me as a professional, and I won't.

I am currently branching out in "domaining," which involves buying domain names cheap and developing some of them into web portals and virtual real estate and reselling the rest.

I have been married to Jerry Siegel since 1984. In 1988-1989, 1997, and 2004-2005, we lived abroad: Yugoslavia, Belgium, and Macedonia. Jerry was a Fulbright Scholar. I was just along for the ride, and between traveling to exciting places like London, Rome, and Athens, I wrote books.

--Skopje, Yugoslavia: Stratum (Unpublished, and shall remain so).

--Plainfield, Vermont (Goddard College): What Happens When the Fat Lady Sings (Morphed into my published book).

--Brussels, Belgium: Mystical Bodies (Unpublished, and I don't know...It could be a romantic pot boiler).

--Skopje, Macedonia: I, Driven: memoir of a teen's involuntary commitment (Will publish, I hope).

Two Skopjes, same place. Like me, a dual entity dressed up in two identities.

I have four grandchildren, all girls, the oldest 14, the youngest two and a half.

Not a boring current life, but not one that drives great literature.

So flashback...

My incarceration, February 19, 1969: after my grandfather hauled me back to Iowa, I rebelled and tried to split again, this time trying to head east to York, Pennsylvania, and Jeff Brown.

Woodbury County, Iowa, however, meddled in our family dispute, held a hearing, and deemed me fit for commitment in the Cherokee Mental Health Institution, INVOLUNTARY commitment, that is. I, Driven covers my life from Christmas Eve 1968 to May 9, 1969, with some flashbacks to Fall 1968 and early life.

An encapsulation of my life after the institution:

--Unofficial release from institution: April 16, 1969.

--Escape to York: May 4, 1969.

(All roads seem to lead to that York inversion.)

--Official release from institution: May 9, 1969.

--Eric's birth: June 1970.

--Marriage to Jeff: July 18, 1970 (the truth is out, if it was ever really hidden).

--Harley Semple's death: March 16, 1974.

--Mother's death: April 24, 1979.

--Divorce from Jeff: June 1980.

--College graduation: May 1982.

--Marriage to Jerry: April 19, 1984.

--Olive Semple's death: October 21, 1987

--M.F.A. graduation: February 1994.

--Publication of first book: July 2004

In late 2008, I'm 58, finally finished writing about that time in I, Driven. As I wrote that memoir, I felt 18 all over again because I wrote in a sassy 18-year-old voice. And I was very sassy (and angry) back then. Maybe I still am...

I revisited the institution in 2004 and, somewhere deep inside, I was afraid they'd make me finish out my "sentence," my involuntary commitment revisited. I broke into a sweat and nearly threw up. My husband had to comfort me when I went into a kind of fugue state, but I got through it. A lot of memories flooded back...

I had no choice but to go back and face that demon; it took me three years, from first draft (700 pages) to what I hope is the final version (415 pages).

In my published book, about 25% autobiographical, there's no mention of an institution because I spent years hiding the fact; I knew no one would ever find out (unless I snitched); mental health records are kept confidential. But I have always known that my past, if not faced head-on, would continue to hold me back from making a significant difference in this world before slipping into the sod.

I don't know how many years I have left, but I do know this: I didn't want to spend my remaining time harboring this great big ugly secret.

When I told my grown son Eric about my incarceration, he already knew. How, I don't know. He doesn't know either. He simply said, "I've always known."

Kids.

The mental health system stunk back then, and I can only hope that it's much better now, but I have my doubts. I'm thinking about starting a forum for people who have experienced the mental health system at its worst, but I'm not sure I have time for such a project. I have some other loose ends to tie up first; I have a tendency to start projects and then not following through on them--an A.D.D. thing. I'm getting better, though. I have finished writing four books, published one, and fully intend to publish the memoir, but I reserve the right to change my mind.

I'll reserve comment on Stratum.

Are You EVER Going to be Thin? (and other stories) is a done deal, so no use rehashing that now. Buy or borrow the book, and see for yourself. See my Amazon page.

Mystical Bodies, a potboiler that may never see light of day, depicts a few days of a young woman's life. Christina, an underweight nun, has an affair with a Jewish philanthropist. And the writing is really bad and very trite. But I had a blast writing it--that's what's important. Maybe I'll create an eBook.

I don't what made me think I could write about an underweight nun because I have been neither underweight nor a nun, though writers are often told (in M.F.A. programs) to write beyond themselves. And I did grow up Catholic, went to Catholic schools, and lived one block from a Catholic Church, so I knew a lot of nuns and saw their holy underwear hanging on the convent wash line. (I still haven't figured out some of those contraptions.)

I wrote Mystical Bodies when I lived in Brussels; behind our apartment building on Square de Leopoldville (Etterbeck Commune), trains ran night and day; I loved the sound and incorporated a sexy (but not pornographic) train scene in the book. Despite walking a lot, I was very fat at the time, but I wasn't really unhappy.

I miss Brussels, but I also miss Skopje and London. On some level, I also miss Sioux City, but I would never want to live there again. I could live in Brussels, London, or Skopje, however.

I don't miss Cherokee at all.

I'm only slightly fat now, having, within the last year, discovered an insulin problem, which can be controlled by diet. I feel happier with each passing day, even though the last 30 pounds remains in some kind of stasis. I'm coming to terms with my body as is; I actually feel good and am quite nimble despite not exercising at all. When I was over-exercising, I felt sore and cranky at the time. Go figure.

I had been posting on Diet Survivors, a non-dieting website, at one time a good place for me, but not at the moment. Now that I have discovered a physical component to my weight problem, I feel as though incorporating behavioral techniques would be like going through talk therapy to cure a tumor.

Diets have always been the bane of my life, even more so now that my diet is, more or less, permanent.

One of my most vivid memories of the institution was the lousy food; I remember losing 15 pounds without even trying because I refused to eat such delicacies as green eggs, overcooked cauliflower, and shoe-leather pot roast.

I wasn't crazy back then, and I don't think I'm crazy now, but I am menopausal, which has its own set of rules.

It's more of an attitude: facing mortality makes one cut to the chase, so if a fifty-something woman says, "F*** you," she's just being impatient. My husband has learned this, although he doesn't cuss and is nine years older than me.

No time for niceties.

I really don't like cuss words, but I do use them too much, although not in my classes. I'm an adjunct, after all, and I have to be on my best behavior, though sometimes I'm not.

I'm going to take another look at Mystical Bodies, see if there's anything worth saving--but not until I get I, Driven sent on its way and published.

If you have read this far, then God Bless You. You will have done your Corporal Works of Mercy (the original title for the nun book), and She will tick up for you an Indulgence or two.

If you're Catholic, you'll know exactly what I mean; if you're not, don't worry about it.

Jennifer Semple Siegel

Addendum: I haven't revealed everything about myself. It's the internet, for goodness sake, and I have to keep some secrets.

For this bio with photographs, click here.
*

Jennifer Semple Siegel's Resume

*

York College of Pennsylvania

Department of English and Humanities

Country Club Road

York, PA 17405-7199

(717) 815-1363

email

♦

EDUCATION

M.F.A. (Creative Writing), February, 1994, Goddard College, Plainfield, VT. Areas of concentration: fiction and playwriting. Supporting literature field in gender studies.

Graduate study in writing, 1983-84, University of Florida, Gainesville, FL.
B.A., magna cum laude (English), May, 1982, York College of Pennsylvania, York, PA.

A.S. (Accounting), December, 1980, York College of Pennsylvania, York, PA.

Additional Study

Participant, annual poetry workshops with poet Larry Rubin at the College English Association (CEA) conference, 1987-2004.

Drama Writing: From the Producer’s Viewpoint, continuing education course, 1994, New York University, New York.

Intensive study of Macedonian, 1988-1989, private lessons with faculty member of Institute for Foreign Languages, Skopje, Yugoslavia.

Intensive study of Serbo-Croatian, 1988, Eastern European Summer Language Institute, University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, PA.

Study in fiction writing under Ann Beattie, 1982, Writing Workshop, Georgetown University, Washington, DC.

EMPLOYMENT

Writing and Literature Instructor, Department of English and Humanities, York College of Pennsylvania (1992-present). Courses taught most recently: African-American Literature, Introduction to Literature, and Creative Writing. Have also taught Journalism, Composition, Advanced Composition, Playwriting, and Interdisciplinary Writing (a course I developed).

Faculty Consultant, Educational Testing Service (ETS), Princeton, NJ (1994-2007). Assess essay portion of ETS tests, including AP, SAT II, and others.

Writing Center Instructor, Department of English and Humanities, York College of Pennsylvania (1987-1994). Consulted with individual students to help them improve their writing abilities and writing quality on specific assignments.

Library Assistant, Schmidt Library, York College of Pennsylvania, York, PA (1984-1987). Performed a wide range of duties in the Circulation and Technical Services departments.

English instructor (graduate assistant), University of Florida, Gainesville, FL (1983-1984). Taught freshman composition.

Newspaper Correspondent, The York Dispatch, York, PA (1980-1981).

PUBLICATIONS

"The Re-feeding Program," excerpt from "The Big Diet" (short story), The Non-Dieting Weblog. 26 February 2006.

"Copyright: Ethics Versus Education in Macedonia," American Writer: Journal of the National Writers Union, UAW/AFL-CIO. Fall 2005. 12. Print and online.

"Persona Grata" (essay), Writer’s Digest Online. 28 April 2005.

Are You EVER Going to be Thin? (and other stories) , Infinity Publishing, July 2004.

"You Said It: Worth the $$?" Reader’s Digest. January 2004. 15.

"Résumé" (short story). International Journal for Teachers of English Writing Skills (Special Literary Issue)10.2 (August 2003). 115-117.

"Alan Sillitoe." Concise Dictionary of British Literary Biography. GaleNet Online, 1999.

"Charlotte Perkins (Stetson) Gilman’s The Yellow Wallpaper: Fiction ‘With a Purpose’ and the Need to Know the Real Story." CEA Critic 59.3 (Spring/Summer 1997): 44-57.

"Feet" (short story). Pennsylvania English 19.2 (1994): 53-63.

"Are You EVER Going to be Thin?" (short story). Sleeping with Dionysus: Women, Ecstasy and Addiction. Ed. Kay Marie Porterfield. Freedom, CA: The Crossing Press, 1994. 20-25.

"Alan Sillitoe." British Short-Fiction Writers, 1945-1980. Ed. Dean Baldwin. The Dictionary of Literary Biography. 139. Detroit: Bruccoli Layman Clark, Gale Research Inc., 1994.

"Lady Chatterley’s Evolution from ‘Personality’ to ‘Blood’: The Role of Eight Wild Flowers and the ‘Blood-warmth’ Marriage Ritual." Pennsylvania English 18.2 (1994): 12-27.

"Are You Thin Yet?" (essay). Eating Our Hearts Out: Personal Accounts of Women’s Relationship to Food. Ed. Lesléa Newman. Freedom, CA: The Crossing Press, 1993. 204-206.

"Rendezvous" (short story). Yugoslav English Language Teaching Review 12 (November 1989): 76-77.

Related Writing Activities

Completed I, Driven to Cherokee: memoir of a teen's involuntary commitment, currently working on And God Won, Twin Candy Bings, and Mystical Bodies (novels); Growing Light: an Abbreviated Life (play). Thesis novel: What Happens When the Fat Lady Sings; completed The Trash Can of L.A. and The Fat Lady Sings a cappella (full-length plays).

Edited the English portion of Boris Trajkovski, 1999-2004, by Jason Miko. Skopje (Macedonia): The Boris Trajkovski International Foundation, 2004.

Founder and former editor of Onion River Review, an independent publication of the MFA alumni and graduate students at Goddard College, 1993-1996.

Editor and faculty advisor of The York Review, York College of Pennsylvania literary magazine, 1992-1996.

Edited articles for the Macedonian Review, Skopje, Yugoslavia, 1989.

PROFESSIONAL ACTIVITIES

Administrator/owner of Poets.net forum and blog, March 2008-present.

Administrator/owner, Post Foetry, blog, 2007-present.

Administrator/Moderator at Foetry (now archived), American Poetry Watchdog, 2006-2007.

Reading, "All Along the Campaign Trail" (poem), Fountain of the Muse, 2008 National Council of Teachers of English (NCTE) conference, San Antonio, TX.

Organized Larry Rubin’s Poetry Workshop, 2008 College English Association (CEA) conference, St. Louis, MO.

Organized and facilitated a second poetry workshop, 2008 College English Association (CEA) conference, St. Louis, MO.

Reading, Excerpts (Prologue and Chapter One) from I, Driven: memoir of a teen's involuntary commitment (memoir), Fountain of the Muse, 2007 National Council of Teachers of English (NCTE) conference, New York, NY.

Organized Larry Rubin’s Poetry Workshop, 2007 College English Association (CEA) conference, New Orleans, LA.

Organized and facilitated a second poetry workshop, 2007 College English Association (CEA) conference, New Orleans, LA.

Black History Month Lecture/Film, February 2007, Their Eyes Were Watching God, The American Corner, Skopje, Macedonia.

Organized Larry Rubin’s Poetry Workshop, 2006 College English Association (CEA) conference, San Antonio, TX.

Organized and facilitated a second poetry workshop, 2006 College English Association (CEA) conference, San Antonio, TX.

Reading, "2001 Ivar Street," excerpt from Driven to Cherokee: a memoir of involuntary commitment, 2006 College English Association (CEA) conference, San Antonio, TX.

Reading, selected excerpts from Driven to Cherokee: a memoir of involuntary commitment, 2006 Pennsylvania College English Association (PCEA) conference, Pittsburgh, PA.

Moderator, 2006 Pennsylvania College English Association (PCEA) conference, Pittsburgh, PA.

Lecture, with question-and-answer session, to prospective college students, "Enrolling in American Colleges," The American Corner, Skopje, Macedonia, January 2006.

Reading, "Horny Women at the Sewing Factory" (poem), Fountain of the Muse, 2005
National Council of Teachers of English (NCTE) conference, Pittsburgh, PA.

Reading, "Rudy," excerpt from Driven to Cherokee: a memoir of involuntary commitment, 2005 Advanced Placement (AP) test readings, Daytona Beach. (Have also done readings for the group since 1996). AP Reading, Daytona Beach, FL.

Workshop on Writing Memoir, The American Corner, Skopje, Macedonia, 2005.

Workshop on Writing Fiction, The American Corner, Skopje, Macedonia, 2005.

Workshop on Writing Form Poetry, The American Corner, Skopje, Macedonia, 2005.

Lecture to high school students on writing the SAT and AP essay, Nova School, Skopje, Macedonia, 2004.

Reading, "Our Other Twin," excerpt from Twin Candy Bings, 2004 College English Association (CEA) conference, Richmond, VA.

Moderator, 2004 College English Association (CEA) conference, Richmond, VA.

Reading, "Detox," 2004 Pennsylvania College English Association (PCEA) conference, Scranton, PA.

Reading, "Résumé" and "Are You EVER Going to Be Thin?" from Are You EVER Going to Be Thin? a short story collection, 2003 College English Association (CEA) conference, St. Petersburg, FL.

Reading, "Résumé" from Are You EVER Going to Be Thin? a short story collection, 2003 Advanced Placement (AP) test readings, Daytona Beach. (Have also done readings for the group since 1996).

Reading, "Psychedelic Bingo" and "How NOT to Send a Poem Out Into Public" (poems), 2003 SAT II test readings, Princeton, NJ.

Reading, excerpts from Twin Candy Bings, novel-in-progress, 2002 Pennsylvania College English Association (PCEA) conference, St. Davids, PA.

Reading, "Psychedelic Bingo," from Are You EVER Going to Be Thin? a short story collection, 2001 Pennsylvania College English Association conference, Punxsutawney, PA.

Conducted workshop, "Predator Editors, Publishers, and Agents: Avoid the Scam!" 2001 Clockhouse Writer’s Conference, Goddard College, Plainfield, VT.

Reading, excerpts from Mystical Bodies, a novel, 1999 College English Association conference, Philadelphia, PA.

Reading, excerpts from Mystical Bodies, a novel, 1998 Pennsylvania College English Association conference, DuBois, PA.

Organized three creative writing sessions, including an Editor’s Roundtable discussion, my own presentation on fiction writing, and Larry Rubin’s poetry workshop, 1996 College English Association conference, New Orleans, LA.

Reading, "Snakes," a short story, 1995 Pennsylvania College English Association conference, State College, PA.

Organized three creative writing sessions, including own presentation of a "Flash Fiction" workshop, Larry Rubin’s poetry workshop, and Penelope Prentice’s comedy connection workshop, 1995 College English Association conference, Cleveland, OH.

Conducted creative writing workshop, "How to Create Interactive Characters from Scratch," 1994 College English Association conference, Orlando, FL.

Organized creative writing panel, "The Teacher as Creative Writer," 1993 College English Association conference, Charlotte, NC. Also presented paper "Hear Our Voices: Back to the Past."

Reading, "Feet," from Are You EVER Going to Be Thin? a short story collection, 1993 Pennsylvania College English Association (PCEA) conference, Bloomsburg, PA.

Reading, "Knowing," "Mafia Lawyer Scum," "Possibilities for Capricious Weather," "Placard on a Honolulu Bus," and "TO JWC: Eulogy for a Stranger" (poems), 1992 College English Association conference, Pittsburgh, PA.

Presented paper "When Freud Steps in..." and read short story "Visitation," 1991 Pennsylvania College English Association conference, York, PA.

Session Respondent, 1990 College English Association conference, Buffalo, NY.
Chaired session and read "Our Lady of Miracles" (short story), 1990 Pennsylvania College English Association conference, Pittsburgh, PA.

Reading, "Rendezvous" (short story), creative writing workshop, 1988 National Lektors’ Conference, Skofja Loka, Yugoslavia.

HONORS AND AWARDS

Honorable mention, "Résumé" (short story), International Journal for Teachers of English Writing Skills (2003).

Honorable mention, "Seppuku" and "Cycles" (poems), Writer’s Digest Writing Competition (1995).

Honorable mention, "In Waiting" (short story), Baltimore Sun Magazine Holiday Fiction Contest (1990).

Honorable mention, "Visitation" (short story), Baltimore Sun Magazine Summer Fiction Contest (1990).

Honorable mention, "Our Lady of Miracles" (short story), Baltimore Sun Magazine Holiday Fiction Contest (1989).

First Prize, "Starlings" (poem), annual poetry competition, Pennsylvania Poets’ Society (1987).

Scholarship, Georgetown University for study at the Georgetown Writing Conference (1982).

Full Scholarship, Edison Foundation to attend National Collegiate Newspaper Conference, Washington, DC. (1981).

OFFICES AND MEMBERSHIPS

Member of the College English Association (CEA) Board, 2007-2010.
Chair, Creative Writing Committee, College English Association (CEA) (1994-1996). Organized multiple creative writing sessions at annual conventions.

Member, Board of Trustees at Goddard College, Plainfield, VT (1992-1993). Served on the Finance/ Personnel and the ad hoc Visioning/Identity, and the ad hoc Presidential Evaluation Committees

Current memberships: College English Association (CEA), Pennsylvania College English Association (PCEA), National Council of Teachers of English (NCTE), Modern Language Association (MLA), Associated Writing Programs (AWP).

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

I, Driven: memoir of a teen's involuntary commitment (Prologue)

*
Caged

I was driven to Cherokee.

A hazy memory of riding caged in the back of a police car.

Two shadows in the front seat, the county sheriff and a female escort, jabbering. I, cargo, to be delivered from the Woodbury County courthouse to the Cherokee Mental Institution.

Outside, the Iowa landscape bleak:

Cloudy and cold, condensation and frost riming the windows, piles of dirty snow dotting the countryside.

Inside, hot and steamy.

Still, I shivered, my teeth chattering. Please turn up the heat!

But cargo has no voice.

For all the importance of this drive–then and now–I remember little, except for one question:

Am I really crazy?
*

I, Driven: memoir of a teen's involuntary commitment (Research Note)

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Fortunately, I am a pack rat and have saved letters, written from late December 1968 to May 1969, between Jeff A. Brown and me; therefore, I was able to recreate my youthful voice by referring to them. In addition, these letters helped me to remember, for without them, much of that time would have been a blur. I also obtained copies of my court and hospital records, both of which revealed surprising insights into the commitment process, in the days before the powerful 1972 and 1975 Supreme Court rulings on involuntary commitment. In addition, the records also offered some surprises regarding my grandparents’ actions.

I wrote the first draft of this memoir in 2004-2005, while I was living abroad (in Skopje, Macedonia); thus, the internet was very helpful in clarifying the current events of 1968-1969, though I have since cut from the final version most of those references.
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I, Driven: memoir of a teen's involuntary commitment (Notes on Narrative Threads: Flashbacks, Other Voices, and Dramatization)

Primary Narrative Thread

Christmas Eve 1968 to May 1969. Although the prologue is from the perspective of my current persona–thus, past tense–the primary narrative thread (the bulk of the memoir), recreates Jennifer L. Semple’s 18-year-old voice through the present tense.

My goal: to place the reader in the middle of that volatile time and into the life of a rebellious teen.

I incorporate other narrative approaches as well:

Secondary Narrative Thread

August 18 through August 30, 2004. Beginning in Chapter Eleven, Jennifer’s youthful voice is interrupted by Jennifer the adult attempting to make sense of her past.

On August 18, 2004, as I ponder a return journey to Cherokee, I address some issues I have not really addressed in the primary thread: my relationship with Stoney, my drug-dealing boyfriend and my guilt over a "Dear John" letter I had written in November 1968 to a fiancé, a Marine stationed in Vietnam.

August 29: after experiencing some anxiety, I decide to make the journey to Cherokee to take pictures and remember.

August 30: I describe my return to Cherokee, Iowa, as a sort of catharsis. While there, I experience past emotions, feelings, visions, and smells. I also speculate about the current incarnation of Cherokee.

I also contemplate living abroad for the upcoming year (2004-2005) and reflect on the convention of letter-writing as a tenuous connection between long-distance lovers.

These intermittent present tense passages include Chapters Eleven, Twenty-Six, Thirty-Five, Fifty-Nine, Sixty, Sixty-One, Sixty-Three, Sixty-Seven, Sixty-Nine, Seventy-Four, Seventy-Six, Seventy-Eight, Eighty-Seven, "Released," and "Short History..." (2007 Epilogue).

In terms of length, these passages are short interruptions but important in that they offer a distant perspective of my past and a glimpse of young Jennifer’s future.

Flashbacks to Fall 1968

Although these Hollywood events occur in close proximity to the primary narrative thread, the main focus of the memoir begins on Christmas Eve 1968. Yet, some revealing and important events have occurred before that time. These flashbacks, interspersed throughout the book, are written in the past tense because, for young Jennifer, they were well into the past.

For clarity, most of the Fall 1968 flashbacks have been afforded their own short chapters, which are interwoven contextually (thus, not necessarily in chronological order) throughout the primary narrative: Chapters Three, Nine, Fifteen, Seventeen, Nineteen, Twenty-Five, Twenty-Seven, Thirty-One, Thirty-Three, Thirty-Seven, Thirty-Nine, Forty-Two, Sixty-Five, Seventy-One, Seventy-Five, Eighty-One, and Eighty-Three.

Childhood Flashbacks

In addition, three flashbacks to my childhood, short italicized, present tense, dream-like passages, are included within the primary thread, not in their own chapters.

These passages include a near-death experience at age six (in Chapter Thirty-Four), my younger sister Robin being taken away from our family (in Chapter Forty-Six), and a nightmare, at age four, about bed-wetting and snakes (in Chapter Eighty-Four). These memories tie in with events occurring depicted in the primary thread.

Perspective of My Childhood Guardians

Harley D. Semple, my grandfather, passed away in 1974, Olive Semple, my grandmother, in 1987. Therefore, for their first person narratives, I have referred to interview summaries contained in my hospital records–interviews conducted and summarized by my psychiatrist (and other hospital personnel). I have also relied on my personal knowledge about these people who raised me. Their voices, which I have recreated, are what I remember.

These short present tense narratives have been placed in their own chapters.

During this time in my life, I was harsh and judgmental toward my grandparents; as an adult looking back, I owed them an opportunity to tell their side of my story.

Intermittent passages occurring between December 31, 1968, and February 19, 1969, include Chapters Five (Harley), Seven (Harley), Thirteen (Harley), Twenty-One (Harley), Twenty-Two (Olive), Twenty-Nine (Olive), Forty-Three (Olive), Forty-Five (Olive), Forty-Seven (Olive), Forty-Nine (Olive), Fifty-Two (Harley), part of Fifty-Five (Olive), and part of Fifty-Five (Harley).

Dramatization

In Chapter Fifty-Four, I have included a dramatized scenario between my grandfather and Opal Casey, the Sioux City police matron, as they draw up the papers required for my court hearing, ultimately resulting in my commitment. I based this dramatic scene on my actual court papers, in which my grandfather’s name, as "Informant," has been scratched out and replaced with Opal Casey’s name.

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I, Driven: memoir of a teen's involuntary commitment (Synopsis)

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Prologue: Caged, February 19, 1969

The memoir opens with my being driven to the Cherokee Mental Health Institute via a caged police car.

I. Going to Cherokee (Chapters One to Fifty Four, pages 2-176)

In the Iowa lexicon of my youth, "going to Cherokee" was synonymous with going crazy; at this point, I had no idea that I was well on my way; Stoney, my drug-dealing boyfriend, and I were just grooving on LSD, my youthful indiscretion foreshadowing what was yet to come.

On Christmas Eve, 1968, through the haze of LSD, I realized that my life was worth more than just getting high. This wasn’t a linear realization, for during this period, I continued experiencing upheaval, ecstasy, discovery, backtracking, hurt, and anger.

Part I begins my journey toward coming of age, follows me as I stumble toward self discovery, and culminates in a generational clash with my guardian grandparents and Woodbury County, Iowa. An altercation with my grandfather begins at the Sioux City bus depot and continues at the police station, thus setting into motion trumped-up legal paperwork, designed to put me, an "incorrigible" teenager, away.

II. Verdict (Chapter Fifty Five, pages 177-193)

Part II is divided into three sections:

Section one opens with my grandmother’s voice as she tries to figure out what has gone wrong with her grandchild. At the end, she asks, "What has this world come to when you send a sweet, deeply religious girl to California, and she comes back as a dirty long-haired hippie, addicted to drugs, with no morals left?" This rhetorical question, her final passage of the memoir, remains unanswered.

Section two presents my court records, word for word, unedited. Woodbury County, in its bumbling, inept manner, speaks for itself.

Section three closes with my grandfather’s lament: "Where have we gone wrong? It’s enough to drive a sane man crazy." This, too, is his final passage.

III. Driven (Chapters Fifty Six to Sixty One, pages 194-207)

This thematic part, a pause between Woodbury County’s decision to commit me to Cherokee and my actual commitment, depicts the myriad ways of being "driven."

Chapter Fifty Six (February-April 1969) describes the rest of the police car drive to Cherokee, my drive to forget those first hours, and my drive to escape from the institution.

Chapter Fifty Seven (February 1969-April 2002): I was "driven for 33 years: to keep secret" my commitment.

Chapter Fifty Eight (April 2002): I found old letters, exchanged 33 years ago between Jeff Brown (later my husband, now my ex) and me, and I felt driven to reread them. At the time I was experiencing an impasse in my writing and personal life.

I emailed Cherokee for my hospital records, again driven, this time to have some unanswered questions finally answered.

Chapter Fifty Nine (May 15, 2004) depicts a convergence of two milestones: my husband Jerry’s upcoming Fulbright in Skopje, Macedonia, and the impending birth of my granddaughter while we are away. "I don’t want to go overseas," I say. "I want to be there for her birth, to hold her minutes, even seconds, after she’s born."

After reaching a compromise, in which we would return to the U.S. in January 2005, I decide to follow my husband overseas, to use the year abroad as an opportunity to write my memoir.

Chapter Sixty closes on August 29, 2004, with my final decision to revisit Cherokee.

"I’ll drive you there," my husband says.

The opening of Chapter Sixty One (August 30, 2004) continues the literal and symbolic meaning of being driven: "This warm summer day, I am driven to Cherokee, northeast of Sioux City, to revisit the Mental Health Institute. Metaphorically, this trip has taken 35 years and thousands of detours and dead ends."

IV. Cherokee (Chapters Sixty Two to Eighty Four, pages 208-365)

"Oh-my-God. I can’t believe they did this to me," I say on February 19, 1969.

So my Cherokee incarceration begins, continuing until April 15, 1969, and ending with my conditional release from the institution. During the two months there, I cope with doctors, staff, and social workers who would meddle with my future.

I develop a strong bond with the psychiatrist assigned to my case; from the beginning, he has realized that my commitment was an egregious mistake and works toward my timely release. I also develop an ongoing clash of wills with a young and straitlaced social worker, yet, despite my sassy behavior, he also works for my release.

Letters from Jeff, my boyfriend, have become my lifeline to the outside world as we exchange ideas on books, popular culture, music, movies, and politics. However, he admits to experiencing mixed feelings about our relationship–there is another girl–so in these pre-email days, our relationship takes on a sort of snail-mail high drama as we banter back and forth.

Meanwhile, I interact with various patients: a psychopath who preys on other patients, a 17-year-old unwed mother, a teen cutter with strange obsessions about rats, a young married mother enthralled with "10 ways of suicide," and D.J., a 42-year-old mentally challenged man and 25 year resident of Cherokee, among others.

Of all the patients, D.J. has the most impact on me. A kind man, he shows that freedom is relative, for in his mind, Cherokee is exactly where he wants to be–that, for him, release would be a burden. "His day-to-day life is here, always to be the same, following the seasons, nurturing new plants, mourning the dying and dead," I say, on the day before my release. "If I were to return 25-35 years from now, I might find him, an old man, in this same spot, the fir tree a mighty sage."

V. Leaving Cherokee (Chapters Eighty Five to Eighty Six, pages 366-396)

"Hooray! I’m out!"

April 16: I have been released on one condition: that I remain in Sioux City for at least six months. I have refused to live with my grandparents. Also, with regret, I have declined staying with a sympathetic aunt; I didn’t want to place her in an awkward family situation. So the state of Iowa arranges for my room and board at a local boardinghouse.

I find a job in a diner, the owner a bitter woman who mistreats her employees. Within ten days, I have quit that job, deciding to split for Pennsylvania, long before the required six months, but only after I have received my tax refund.

To my dismay, Jeff has decided to visit the other girl, who lives in another Pennsylvania city.

My sense of urgency increases as I, for the next two weeks, wait for my tax refund check.

Finally, on May 1, my refund arrives. On May 5, after a minor confrontation with my grandfather at the bus depot, I leave for Pennsylvania.

This part concludes on May 6 as I step off the bus in York, Jeff awaiting me: "It’s been a long, long journey."

VI: Released: August 30, 2004 (Chapter 87, pages 397-401)

This part wraps up my 2004 journey to Cherokee, both actual and metaphorical. After buying Cherokee Mental Health: 100 Years of Serving Iowan’s [sic], an incomplete history of the institution, my husband Jerry and I leave Cherokee and head back to Sioux City. During our return trip, I flip through the book and scan the Chronicle Times, the town’s newspaper: the ordinariness of the stories strikes me as profound.

"No section called ‘Cedar Loop News’ for the institution," I observe as we cruise into Sioux City. "On this day, as it was for me in 1969, these are two distinct towns, one wide open and transparent, the other shadowy and secret--just a no-name outline on the map."

VII. Final Diagnosis: May 9, 1969 (pages 402-403)

In a short clinical passage, my psychiatrist offers my final diagnosis: "Adjustment Reaction of Adolescence."

Epilogue (Summer 2007) (pages 404-414)

I offer a short update on my life since August 2004 and a short, albeit incomplete, history of the institution, culled from the book Cherokee Mental Health: 100 Years of Serving Iowan’s [sic] where I discover some surprising details about the institution’s history and how it might relate to my story.

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I, Driven: memoir of a teen's involuntary commitment (Blurb)

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Christmas Eve, 1968: from lunar orbit, Apollo 8 astronauts deliver their Christmas message, a passage from Genesis.

On earth, 18-year-old Jennifer Semple, tripping on LSD with her drug-dealing boyfriend, embarks on her own odyssey.

Jennifer’s journey begins on the steamy streets of Hollywood, where heads, hippies, drug dealers, freaks, strippers, groupies, college students, Jesus Freaks, counterculture gurus, drag queens, rock stars and wannabe rocksters, svengalis, and con artists converge during one of the most volatile periods in history.

Jennifer’s life soon spirals out of control: she loses her Bank of America job, her boyfriend abandons her, and cops threaten to arrest her. Her grandparents and legal guardians convince her to leave Hollywood and return to Iowa, where she can "get her head on straight."

Instead, Jennifer is committed, against her will, to the Cherokee Mental Health Institute in Cherokee, Iowa, where she is introduced to a world of questionable psychiatric treatments, doctors, psychologists, social workers, and hospital staff.

While incarcerated, she corresponds with a new boyfriend and interacts with other patients: a psychopath who preys on other patients, a 17-year-old unwed mother, a teen cutter obsessed with rats, a young married mother enthralled with "10 ways of suicide," and a 42-year-old mentally challenged man and 25 year resident of Cherokee, among others.

Finally released, she flees Iowa, escaping to Pennsylvania.

In 2004, Jennifer, seeking another kind of release, has returned to Cherokee, this time voluntarily and as a visitor.

"I was driven to Cherokee," the author says, referring to a northwest Iowa regionalism synonymous with being committed. "Writing this memoir has driven Cherokee from me."*

I, Driven: memoir of a teen's involuntary commitment (Summary)

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Eighteen-year-old Jennifer L. Semple embarks on a different kind of odyssey: tripping on LSD with her boyfriend Stoney, the teenager begins her remarkable journey at The Crystal Ship, a head shop near Hollywood, California, and ends with her fleeing Iowa, after her conditional release from the Cherokee Mental Health Institute in Cherokee, Iowa.

“I was driven to Cherokee,” the author says, referring to a northwest Iowa regionalism synonymous with being committed to a mental institution.

Her real-life story begins on the steamy streets of Hollywood, where heads, hippies, drug dealers, freaks, strippers, groupies, college students, Jesus Freaks, counterculture gurus, drag queens, rock stars and wannabe rocksters, svengalis, and con artists converge during one of the most volatile periods in our history.

The story continues with Jennifer’s involuntary commitment to Cherokee, where she is introduced to a world of archaic psychiatric treatments, doctors, psychologists, social workers, and hospital staff.

She corresponds with Jeff Brown, a new boyfriend, and also interacts with other patients: Wolfie, a psychopath who preys on other patients; Penny, a 17-year-old unwed mother; Carrie, a teen cutter with strange obsessions about rats; Joyce, a young married mother enthralled with “10 ways of suicide”; and D.J., a 42-year-old mentally challenged man and 25 year resident of Cherokee, among others.

Finally, released from the institution, she flees Iowa, escaping to York, Pennsylvania, where Jeff awaits her.

As the teenager narrates her story, 53-year-old Jennifer, seeking another kind of release, returns to Cherokee, this time voluntarily and as a visitor.
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Open Letter to Literary Agents

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I was driven to Cherokee, caged in a police car.

Destination: The Cherokee Mental Health Institute in Cherokee, Iowa.

I had never been charged with a crime--just with youthful indiscretion and recklessness. The Woodbury County court system labeled me, an 18-year-old girl, as mentally ill, a "fit subject for custody and treatment in the Mental Health Institute" (from my court records).

I, Driven: memoir of a teen's involuntary commitment opens with a short scene: I, caged in the back of the police car.

The narrative then shifts to Santa Monica and Hollywood, California, Christmas Eve, 1968.

Sex, drugs, and hard rock. Rebellion. Hippies. Flower Power. Vietnam. Make Love, not War. Turn On, Tune In, and Drop Out. The Establishment. The Generation Gap. Naked John Lennon and Yoko Ono. The White Album. Student protests. Hair. The Doors. Women's Liberation. Richard Nixon. 2001: A Space Odyssey. LSD. Purple Haze.

Blue Moons.

As I grooved on, my frightened grandparents, who raised me, plotted to lure me home to Sioux City, Iowa, to help me "get my head on straight."

The memoir’s primary narrative thread covers the months between Christmas Eve 1968 through May 9, 1969: my psychedelic days in Hollywood, return to Sioux City, involuntary incarceration in Cherokee, and, finally, escape to Pennsylvania. The narrative also includes some flashbacks to Fall 1968 and from my childhood. In addition, there is a secondary 2004 thread contemplating my return to Cherokee–this time voluntarily and as a visitor.

The manuscript is 415 pages (about 86,000 words). My target audience: baby boomers--those who walked my path and those who wish they had (well, perhaps a little). Also, the book is likely to draw a younger audience; the first person primary narrative thread recreates the youthful voice of 18-year-old Jennifer L. Semple, who could appeal to an 18 to 35-year-old reader.

My publications include The Re-feeding Program, excerpt from "The Big Diet" (short story), The Non-Dieting Weblog (2006); Copyright: Ethics Versus Education in Macedonia (article, page 12), American Writer: Journal of the National Writers Union (2005); Persona Grata (essay), Writer’s Digest Online (2005); Are You EVER Going to be Thin? (and other stories) (2004).

On the right panel, links to a book summary, blurb, synopsis, notes on narrative thread, and research note can be found. In addition, I have also included short text-only excerpts from the memoir, which can be accessed here.

I would be happy to send to interested AAR agents and/or traditional editors hard copies of the above and/or print copy of the full or partial manuscript. For more information, e-mail me. If you have read this far, thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Jennifer Semple Siegel
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Table of Contents for I, Driven: memoir of a teen's involuntary commitment (text-only site)

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About I, Driven: For Literary Agents and Publishers *

Open Letter to Literary Agents

Summary

Blurb

Synopsis

Notes on Narrative Threads

Research Note

Author Information

Author's Resume

Author's Bio

I, Driven Excerpts: Before the Institution

Prologue: Caged

Chapter One: The Crystal Ship

Chapter One: Blue Moons

Chapter Two: Dark Side

Chapter Two: Flying Solo

Chapter Two: Weed and Seeds

Chapter Two: Funny Little Naked Clowns

Chapter Two: Decision Time

Chapter Two: Thirteen Tabs

Chapter Three: Wallich's Music City and Eleanor's Radio

Chapters Four and Six: New Year's Eve, 1968--Fire

Chapter Eight: Rudy

Chapter Ten: Cops

Chapter Eleven: The Luckiest Hand

Chapter Twelve: Downers

Chapter Twenty Three: Sioux City Blues

Chapter Twenty Four: ..."While I Kiss the Sky"

Chapter Twenty six: The Miracle of Google

Chapter Thirty: There Must be Some Way Outta Here

Chapter Thirty Eight: What to Do With My Life?

Chapter Forty One: My Country 'Tis of Thee, Sweet Land of Tyranny

Chapter Fifty One: Nabbed at the Bus Station

Chapter Fifty Three: "Let's See What the Police Have to Say"

Chapter Fifty Four: A Possible Scenario at the Police Station

Chapter Fifty Six: Driven

Chapter Fifty Eight: Driven 2

I, Driven Excerpts: The Institution

The First Five Days

The Other Patients: Perky Penny

The Other Patients: Carrie the Cutter

The Other Patients: Joyce

The Other Patients: D.J., The Mighty Sage

The Other Patients: Anna on the Lam

Proving My Sanity

I, Driven Excerpts: After the Institution

Denise's Tips

Leaving Sioux City: Dee Dee

Epilogue: A Short History of the Cherokee Mental Health Institute

I, Driven Excerpts: Flashbacks (Fall 1968)

October 1968: Rev. Arthur Blessitt and His Place

October 12, 1968: A Mother's Warning

October 12, 1968: The Birthday Party

October 1968: Wild Man Fischer's Merry-go-round

*A media version of these excerpts (with photos, artwork, videos, out takes, essays, etc.,) can be accessed here.
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